Decision paralysis may seem like something that high-performers wouldn’t struggle with. From the outside, high-performing executives look decisive. They make call after call every day, shaping teams, strategy, and outcomes. But behind closed doors, even the most seasoned leaders get stuck on certain decisions, replaying them, re-evaluating them, convincing themselves they need “more information.”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. In my coaching work, I’ve learned there’s a pattern to these moments of paralysis. Leaders don’t get stuck because the decision is unclear. They get stuck because taking action requires courage, discomfort, and often, consequences. And fear is a powerful anchor.
Why Smart, Capable Leaders Get Stuck
We are constantly making decisions – a wide number of sources cite an average of 35,000 decisions per day for each of us. That includes everything from the unconscious decisions you make like placing your left foot on the step first when walking up stairs, to the everyday choices like deciding between the burger or the salad for lunch, to the life-altering decisions like whether or not you should go back to school.
The job of an executive today could be summed up as decision making. Take in information, synthesize, analyze, and decide what to do next.
So, I often hear from my clients that they are working through one decision or another. They are weighing the pros and cons and imagining the outcomes of one decision or another. They are considering the costs and benefits and the consequences and opportunities of taking and not taking action. We spend a lot of time looking at the decisions they need to make and finding angles they haven’t yet explored so that they can feel confident when they finally do make the decision. And – because it’s the job of an executive – most are able to find the clarity they need to make the decision and move forward to the next decision.
Every now and then, though, a client will bring the same decision back to the table week after week, month after month. They’ll tell me that they are really “struggling” with it. They want to rehash the pros and cons, find more angles and talk about it more to see if anything new comes up.
But it doesn’t.
Because they’ve actually already made the decision. They’ve made up their mind. They know the answer. They know what they should do.
They simply aren’t taking the action.
The culprit? Fear.
Fear Is the Real Roadblock
Fear is stopping them from moving forward and it can come in a variety of forms:
- Fear of the unknown. There are so many possible outcomes and twists and turns if I take this action – some good, some bad. For example, I know I need to leave this job, and if I switch jobs I may have some more opportunities to grow and earn additional income. But, I may end up having to deal with significantly more stress when I take on the next level of responsibilities that I haven’t been offered here.
- Fear of feeling pain. This is going to hurt. It may only last for a short time, but it’s going to cause me pain to make this decision. I know, for example, that I need to fire this employee that has been underperforming for months despite my efforts to upskill him. But, that will mean that I have to take on a lot of his tasks until I hire and train another person to take his spot.
- Fear of causing pain. This is going to cause someone else pain and I feel bad hurting their feelings, impacting their career, or changing the idea they had of the future. I know that I’m not ready to sell my company, but telling my spouse and kids that we’re not going to take the multi-million dollar offer is going to break their hearts.
- Fear of embarrassment. This decision won’t go unnoticed and if it doesn’t work out, I’m going to look bad. I know that shutting down that line of business is the right thing to do so that we can focus all of our attention on our future. But, if we have any dips in revenue, the board is going to point to this decision as the reason
Fear pushes these leaders into good ole complacency mode. They fixate on the decision making process where their inaction feels strategic. This way, they can convince themselves they aren’t fearful, they are just weighing their options in order to make the best decision for their companies, teams, and families. But that’s just the story they are telling themselves.
Pushing Past the Fear
I work with clients to push through and get past the fear by reframing the narrative using these steps:
- Name a preference (ie, Admit to yourself that you’ve made the decision). Since you’ve been struggling with this as a decision, it might not feel like you actually have a preference (but I promise – you do!). So, instead of asking yourself which option you prefer, consider if the decision were made for you and how you’d react. What if the employee quit – would you try to save them or accept their resignation? What if you were fired? Would you feel a little spark of relief and joy that you finally had your excuse to go back to school and switch careers?
- Identify roadblocks. Name the factors that would have to be true in order to more comfortably move forward with the decision. For example, if you’re not ready to sell your company right now, you could describe the conditions under which you would. Maybe you say that you’d like to reach a valuation that would cover your retirement at a certain rate, you want to complete the production of a new product line, and that you would like to install a leadership team that would continue to provide a high level of customer service after you leave.
- Create a communication and execution plan. Even if your decision is to not move forward at this time – you’ll need to communicate your decision to stakeholders, team members, and family. You will definitely have plans to execute. You’re either moving forward and need to get going because you’ve spent a lot of time waffling on this one. Or – you’ve decided not to move forward, but you’ve gained clarity on the reasons why you aren’t moving forward and I guarantee that you’ll be motivated to get those reasons checked off the list.
Stop Delaying and Start Moving
The question isn’t whether you know the right answer—you do. The question is whether you’re ready to take action on it.
If you’ve been carrying a decision for too long and want support turning insight into forward momentum, I’d love to help you make that shift with more confidence and less weight. You already know the way forward. You don’t have to walk it alone.
